Wanted

This past year has been one of the most amazing and also the most difficult years for me.

I have never thought of myself as a people person. I would rather stay in by myself then spend time interacting with people and having to come up with stuff to talk about. And I have been the same way about relationships, never been good in them nor did I want to. The thought of having someone knowing everything about me, my strengths and weakness's terrifies the fuck out of me.
So instead I choose the path of mindless sex.

But over the last year I have challenged myself to trust people.
And found that I want a relationship. I want to have someone to talk about my shitty day to.
Someone that I can share all the things I love with.
Someone that will challenge me.
Who will fight with me when I'm wrong.
Someone that I can create new memories with.

But do you know how hard that is in this era?
I have put myself out there and met new people, but all anyone wants is a fuck.
But it's not that they don't want a relationship. They just don't want a relationship with Me.
Have you ever felt the feeling of someone telling you that they don't want a relationship just a friends with benefits and then a couple months later you get the text of "Hey, we can't sleep together anymore. Theres this Girl that I've been seeing and I really want to give it a shot"?
I'll tell you it fucking sucks. It's this heavy feeling in your chest of Your not good enough to date. All your good for is a fuck.
I'm so tired of it.

All I want is to be Wanted. I want to be the girl that a guy can't wait to see and hold in his arms.
I want to be there to listen when you've had a shitty day. I want to learn all your hopes and fears and be there to help you achieve and fight them.

I just want someone to Want me.